Examining the film side of popular culture, I stumbled across a personal revelation recently. What do Arthur, Little Miss Sunshine, Cash, Annie, Indiana Jones III, The Star Wars Series, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, etc all have in common?
They all feature the conflict of a child seeking his or her father's approval as a central theme within the script's plot development.
That got me to thinking. What is it about the approval of our father that resonates in the souls of enough people that Hollywood would adopt it as a sure-fire revenue generator?
Most folks don't know that I was born Casey Fontana and was later adopted by my dad when my mom remarried in 79. I only mention it because when it comes to seeking the approval of my father(s), I have earned the right to engage in the discourse.
As someone who has experienced the anxiety of wondering what my father who raised me would think when I reached out to the father who conceived me, and then (as far as I knew) vanished, I am acutely aware of what it is to need that approval. And, when I made the decision to professionally partner with my bio-dad and allow him intimate access to my wife and children, I learned what it was like to expect disapproval.
Subsequently, as I examined my relationship with my daughters, I found the answer. The relationship between committed father and child is one that can not be described to those who have not experienced it. Suffice it to say, it is the best example I have of how God would be willing to see past all the crap I put Him through back in-the-day.
The relationship starts with a desire to pursue that which you created in an attempt to allow the knowledge of the boundless depth of your passion for them in the hope that they might one day joyfully reciprocate. At the root of it, there is the fact that the passion is not earned or even augmented by what the child does for the father...it is entirely a product of the father's inability to not unconditionally and unfailingly love the child. And, the product of this root is the unhesitating willingness to go so far as to be prepared to die for your beloved.
After all, show me a man with nothing worth dying for, and I will show you someone who doesn't have much to live for (and doesn't that bring some perspective to the correlation between the American Intelligentsia's unwillingness to forsake his/her career or other life-pursuits for children, and the staggering number of antidepressants being prescribed?)...
And, therein lies the truth. American pop-culture grants relevancy to the relationship between father and child, because we are all programmed to desire the knowledge that our Dad would step in front of a train for us.
So, next time you are moved by the on-screen dramatic effect of this conflict, know that you are not tangled in suspended-disbelief....you are experiencing perhaps the most fundamental of human emotion (and if you are tempted to dismiss this due to religious overtones...I would humbly request that you examine Freud's publications on the subject).
And, for the record...I have three dads who unconditionally love me...and two daughters for whom I would step in front of a locomotive.
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